I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
