apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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