That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
