Will you blow on my dice?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
