i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
