We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
