your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
There r osticjed everywhere
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
