Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
