I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
