She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
