If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
