Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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