It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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