They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
