This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
