let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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