I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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