i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
