4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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