You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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