So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
