How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
