Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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