Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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