We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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