This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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