I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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