Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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