he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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