So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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