a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Actions speak louder than pants.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
