i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
