No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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