honey bunches of taint.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
