I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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