Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
wow bdsm is so cute
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
