hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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