All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
