Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize