And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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