I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
