My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
