The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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