Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
