you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
dude. I can hear the air.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
