Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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