What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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