omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
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not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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