toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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