I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize