Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Are we still banned from the library?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
