She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
