my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
