You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
