i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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