i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
