So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
