Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
