I love watching others lives come down to our level.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
