What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
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