im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
