Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
