We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
