I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
