I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
