i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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